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Name	Comments
Jane 07/13/2007	My ex-husband never hit me but it was only a matter of time before it would have come to physical violence. For the length of our dating and marriage he referred to me as a whore or bitch and would constantly complain that I did not give him sex often enough. He would call my children worthless and lazy when they were present. He controlled most of the money and forced us to have seperate accounts. I never realized how sad I was until I took my kids and left him. It was hard but worth it.

rick benson 07/13/2007	I received a phone call from a lady who wished to remain anonymous, but she wanted her story to be known. She said that she attended a presentation given by Mike and I several months ago. She said that the information was so powerful and hit so “close to home” that she had to get up and leave for a while until she could calmed down a bit. She said that after the presentation she realized that her relationship with her husband had been on a dangerous path for many years and she had to take action to save herself and her children. She developed a plan, got a support system in place and when the time was right she and her children left and she filed all of the appropriate paperwork to end the marriage and protect herself and the children. After some stressful times, she and her children are well on their way to a better life. She said that if she would have known how much better life would be by getting away from an abuser, she would have done it a long time ago. She was amazed with how good it made her feel.

Maria Alvarado 08/15/2007	I would really like to THANK Officer Benson and Detective Carrol for coming out to my job, Minyards Corporate Offices, today. I unfortunately was in an abusive relationship for 6 years (14yrs to 20yrs old) he was very mentally & verbally abusive, controlling, very jealous, manipulative, intimidating and threatening. I look back now and see that my EX-boyfriend had all the qualities of \\\"The Wheel of Power and Control\\\" and Im so fortunate & thankful that I did not end up a vicim, like so many of our women today. I was so young and \\\"in love\\\" (so I thought), I didn\\\'t see all of these bad qualities or signs in him. Although I will be the first to admit that my Intuition tried warning me as well as some of my family, but to me...\\\"they just didn\\\'t really know him\\\" or \\\"he was just misunderstood\\\"...famous last words of a fool!!! I am 30 years old now and have been happily married for the past 5 years and I cannot stress enough!! how important it is to listen to your INTUITION ladies!...because it\\\'s always right! I wished I had!! I could have saved myself plenty of heart aches, and abuse. I am just very gratefull that I finally opened my eyes before it was to late and left him. God is great! and wonderful! ....b/c I could have easily been a homicide case for Detective Carrol. I will definitely be coming to your seminar at the Regional Library in downtown Fort Worth...bringing my little sister. Thank You both! and may God always bless you and your families and may he always keep you safe. Forever grateful, Maria Alvarado Fort Worth, Tx

Name Withheld 08/28/2007	I attended the seminar today for Tarrant County employees. I had a good idea, but never truly knew how close I could have come to being a statistic. I was involved with a man and ended up moving myself and my daughters in with him. After moving in, I found out that he had hit his estranged wife. I wanted to tell myself that he would never do something like that to me. By this time he had isolated me from my friends and most of my family. He did not like me talking on my cell phone unless he was around to hear and approve of my conversations. Then my younger daughter did something that made him angry. After he yelled at her, I got in his face. He shoved me. I fell. I was so suprised that he could do such a thing. He swore it wouldn\'t happen again. Then she made him angry again... he shoved her. I tore into him. We got into a huge fight and he started throwing my clothes out into the yard. I was terrified that he was going to kick us out and my daughters and I would have no place to live. Then he shoved me again... and I stumbled backwards and caught myself... if I wouldn\'t have grabbed on to the bookshelf, I would have fallen and struck my head on the hope chest. That is when I knew I had to get out... I made my plans and the next day I got out. Before I could get him off my account he wiped my checking account clean. This was just a couple of weeks before christmas. He left me with no money to even get my kids christmas. If not for the help of my family I wouldn\'t have been able to do anything for them. He possessed every trait that Officer Benton and Detective Carroll mentioned. I realize now that had I stayed the abuse would have gotten progressively worse. He was suicidal and often talked of killing himself. Looking back now, especially after today, I realize that I am so lucky that I got out. Otherwise I would have eventually been another case for the detectives to solve... I am involved in a relationship with a loving and caring man now whom I have plans to marry. And I thank god every day for my intuition that told me to get the hell out of where i was.

sherry 09/08/2007	I was a victim of domestic violence. I was unaware of the red-flags that kept going off in my head during the 7 months I lived with my abuser/attacker. I finally realized he has passive aggressive personality disorder which is very hard to treat even by a highly renowned psychologist. Also my abuser was manipulative to the point of where no one suspected he was/would be abusive which made it even more difficult for me to handle emotionally. Charm doesn\'t quite fit into it, it was more or less he lacked self-control and normal every day coping skills. His mother was an enabler as well, when I first told her that her son had assaulted me, she immediately asked what did I do?! I was shocked and angry. I went off on her for enabling his violent behavior. This was a sticky situation to be in and I wasn\'t able to get a protective order due to the fact that I wasn\'t be threatened as in terroristic threat nor was I beaten within an inch of my life. DA and Collin County Family Violence department told me it was extremely difficult to get one and they weren\'t kidding. However I did use other methods to defend myself and I\'m now armed and have invested in my personal safety. Suffice to say my abuser absolutely hates me and still is angry with me. But I do know how to use the law to protect myself from such an instance in the future. I already lost plenty in the 7months: $1500 bedroom suite, $300 cellphone he smashed to peices, $70 canister set he also smashed ot peices, $200 for the door he kicked in, not to mention the 2 holes he put in the walls of the bedroom, and let\'s not forget the aggravated assault with a 12inch square skillet that broke my little finger on my right hand--loss the use of my right hand for 3 days. I drive a manual transmission car so driving was out of the question. If the skillet would\'ve hit me, it could\'ve killed me. I\'m so thankful that I did press charges and now I\'m ready to help others. I want more education and background on abusive behavior and knowing what the signs are for being aware so that I can warn others before they become victims too.

Dawn 11/22/2007	Thank you! You are are saving lives! I am writing from the state of Pennsylvania desperately trying to pull my life together after 23 years of marriage with an extremely angry, violent man. As a young bride of 20, it was obvious he had \"anger issues.\" He would throw temper tantrums at the slightest things. As time went on, the physical and verbal abuse escalated from pushing and shoving, to slapping, hitting, bullying, punching, pulling hair, kicking, choking, spitting in my face, twisting limbs...I have had so many black eyes that I,ve lost count. One was so bad, I thought my eye socket was permantly damaged. The verbal abuse was so horrific that I started believing my name actually was F**** Bitch! The property damage...thousands of dollars. He destroyed 3 new laptop computers, my ipod/video, ipod dock, phones, video/dvd players, pictures, jewelry...the stainless steel refrigerator has an unrepairable dent, countless holes in walls and doors, broken eyeglasses..I could go on. My abuser also couldn\'t keep jobs. His anger, coupled with a serious bizarre sex addition controlled every waking moment. His last place of employment had to change their locks because of threatening phone calls. On Sat. 10/27/07 as I was getting ready for work, (and he was downloading his porn for the day,) the mention of him getting a job was enough to set him off. He started verbally abusing and bullying me, holding me hostage in my bathroom where I calmly asked him to leave me alone so I could go to work. He kept repetively saying, \"You\'re not going anywhere, Bitch, I\'m gonna kill you today!\" I yelled out an open window for help, he had a choke-hold on the back of my neck, and slammed the window down with the other hand. In my struggle to get out, he shoved me on the bed, sat on my legs, (I\'m small, 108 lbs) covered my mouth and nose and strangled me. I couldn\'t breath, felt like I was going to throw up, and was very dizzy! Again repeating over and over, \"You\'re gonna die today!\" He kept spitting in my face, and did I mention he is HIV+? In my state of both shock and weakness, I saw an opportunity to leave, but again he pushed me to the floor, sat on my legs, and strangled me even longer while spitting in my face. At this point my world went black. I only remember bits and peices. The pain in my larynx and my ear was horrible; and I couldn\'t speak at all. I ended up calling my pastor, who also happens to be a psychiatrist. I couldn\'t speak, but he saw my # on his caller ID. The first words he said were, \"Did **** (my spouse) hurt you?\" We went straight to the police, got a PFA, and a warrant for his arrest was issued on charges of Felony 1, Aggravated Assult. I was taken to the hospital where I had to have 2 CT scans. When the police came to arrest my abuser, he was gone. None of his personal belongings were taken with him. His drivers licence was also suspended, and he actually rode his bicycle to the airport, (a 25 minute drive by car,) hopped a plane to his home town of North Richland Hills, TX where he currently resides with his parents who continue to both support and enable this manipulitive bum. I am now greatly concerned for them. They are elderly, and my abuser has a history of psychotic behavior and 3 attempted suicides in the last 7 months in which he was committed for the mandatory 72 hours. As of today, I still live in fear because my abuser is really feeling the loss of power. I suffer with post tramatic stress issues, a financial mess he has left behind, and some loss of hearing in my ear. I did, however patch up the last hole in the door today for the last time! I no longer have to be accused of being \"dramatic\" when I really was in pain. My children, who are now 20, are free to visit without wondering what frame of mind their dad is in. My name is not F**** Bitch, my name is Dawn, and I am thankful to be alive!

Gary Voncele Savage 01/14/2008	Hi, I am a 65 yr. old retired teacher that has just written a book about domestic abuse, titled \"A Letter To My Sisters: The Way Out\". It includes the very psychopathic behaviors mentioned by Sandra Brown on her web-site. I am always looking for more info. about this condition, because my purpose is now to enable and encourage women who are still in this type of relationship. I am in the process of writing another book. My books are from an inspirational perspective. I was amazed at the parallel between the thoughts I share in my book, with the thoughts expressed by mental health professionals. I have been contacted by women that said my book helped them find \"the way out\". You are doing a much needed work in these perilous times when women seem to be tools for self-gratification rather than mutual partners in a relationship.

Rick Benson 12/05/2007	I just wanted to write a short note to let everyone who has posted on this site that we are reading all of your comments. Your comments are obviously from your heart and sometimes painfull to read. We appreciate you courage in sharing your comments with us and others who visit our site. The stories of your relationships will help other ladies to work through their issues. Thank you very much for sharing with us. Rick Benson and Michel Carroll

Susan 02/18/2008	In between the tears, I try to write, to smile and just to be happy. I read the literature that says I need to love myself and inside I know I DO. Of course when I married my husband 33 years ago, I was not aware that he was Narcissistic, Pathological, Domineering, Abusive, OR a bully. HE WAS SO CHARMING!!! On our honeymoon, I saw the Red Flags. Told my family and friends I was leaving and why and they proceeded to blame me. Every year I tried to leave and it was always the same scenario; which now included ministers, psychologists, and new friends. He controlled EVERY move I made. I saved money to get away, he found it and spent it, I got a job, he quit his and demanded I move out of the state. I had no family, no friends, and 3 children, and yet I continued to try to find a way to leave. Thirty years ago the resources were not there and I was his prisoner. He started physically abusing my children and I knew that if we divorced, he would either gain custody or abuse them even more when he had them, so I stayed to protect them. I was concerned about molestation with my daughter, (never saw or was told anything, but saw inappropriate behavior)so I stayed to protect her. He sabatoged his life, his finances, our childrens lives; ANYTHING to keep hold of me. Long story short, I did it all to protect my children, and to give them the best life possible, and today they treat me the same way he does. They never saw him beat me; he was ALWAYS in control of himself when they were around. They only saw the \"good daddy\" and what he told them. I was the nut case and the problem. Now he verbally abuses me every minute we are all together, and NONE of them see anything wrong with it. If I get mad or respond that I don\'t deserve that, they respond with \"mom, are you starting again?\" They NEVER tell HIM to knock it off. My point is this: yes, we love our kids, yes, we want to protect our kids, but mine were probably going to turn on me regardless. Had I left, he would have gotten custody and would have brainwashed them that I didn\'t love them or want them. He wins either way. The first 12 years of their lives, he was gone alot. He didn\'t want anything to do with the hassles of raising them. He would come home on the weekends and tell them that I kept him away! He allowed me to be the housekeeper, until they became old enough to stroke his ego, then was around all the time. OUR SOCIETY GIVES HIM HIS POWER. We stand up and fight a company who fires a person after 30 years taking away benefits, but do NOTHING for a wife. We punish anyone who kicks a dog, but do NOTHING when a husband kicks his wife. We stand up against slavery, but say nothing about the millions of women who are slaves in their own homes. I paid a high price for 3 children who may or may not EVER truly be the children I raised. He is a murderer and like so many others is walking free with a smile on his face. He beats me and I am asked what I did to get him so mad! My background is Psychology, I am college educated, and a good person. However, NO human being can thrive or survive in a prisoner of war environment. I had no where to go, no one who cared, no one that wanted to get involved, and most importantly, no one that BELIEVED ME. After awhile you just quit trying. Your web site is fabulous and so are the 2 of you. I can not even BEGIN to tell you what your understanding has done for me after these many, many, years. I have been invisible for so long it feels good to finally have a voice.

Elisabeth Poole 05/31/2008	It is so shocking to read what these women have gone through. We who have never been abused (I have been married for 38 years) don\'t understand how a woman can stay and tolerate such horrific things. I admire all of them who have been able to get away. I praise all the women who have moved on with their lives, no matter how long it took them to get out of the terrible relationships, thank goodness they did. For all who have gotten away and are still trying to get away, may God protect you and your children from this day forward.

Josette Mascorro 01/27/2009	I have been reading your comments and I have to say thay are helping me with one of my daughters, I was struggling to decide how serious to take a situation involving my 16 yr Old. For two years my daughter has had a young man she was kind of a boyfriend with in Jr. High stalking her. Spreading rumors, sending text msg. to her and her boyfriends over the last two years. Threating to ruin her life ect. It recently escalated when he went to the school admin. and told an outrageous story. To make a long story short I have realized that what seems like teenage behavior is really much more serious as he continues to escalate the situation. It is hard to accept that one of your own may not be as aware of the danger and can be suseptible to controling behavior. I realize now escpecially after reading one womans story of how this began for her at 14 that it can happen to anyone and the danger is real.

Karen Armstrong 10/06/2009	I have a daughter who is a victim of domestice abuse. She is trying to get her ex-friend to leave her alone. He is stalking her, making threatening obscene phone calls, and damaging her car. She has repeatedly called or gone to the Fort Worth Police Department and they have done nothing to help her. Matter of fact they are more protective of him than they are of her. He says that the Police can\'t stop him and so far he seems to be correct. Is there any way to put a stop to the abuse and scare tactics he is using to make return to a relationship with him?

Rick Benson 10/26/2009	Ms. Armstrong, We would like to help you resolve this issue in reference to your daughter. Please do not hesitate to call me at 817-392-4364.

Carol 01/18/2010	My second marriage was full of abuse. When RL and I started dating, I was working the same job as he and making more money. He talked me into quitting when we got married. He found excuses to keep me away from my family (in another state). I had to be in the house when he was home. RL worked different shifts each week, so I was not allowed to work. RL started the abuse by telling me how dumb I was and how everything I did was not good enough and how I could not get a job because I\'d been out of work too long. I began to believe him. After 4 years, my son was born. I thought RL would stop the mental abuse since he got the son he wanted. However, that is when the physical abuse started. The last incident...... he banged my head on the kitchen floor {to get my attention} and when I finally went limp, he told me to get up off the floor and go lay down. He said, \"You\'re not hurt\". Then why did I have a knot on my head the size of a goose egg and two black eyes the next morning. I went to file a report with the police department, but since I did not go to the doctor/hospital AND it was my husband, they told me to go home and behave myself. I did get away from him, after another year and a half, but I had to leave the state. I have not had a long term relationship since. I am afraid to take the chance. It is extremely important to get the word out that we (women) don\'t have to accept this behavior as normal. We deserve more than just \"someone\". RUN GIRL RUN!

Betty Allene Coomer 02/19/2010	A number of years ago I too was involved with a man, who was a homosectual con-artist. He was a live in nurse for my aunt & uncle in California. We were married for a very short time before he started bad mouthing me & degrading me & I found out he was a homosectual as well as a con artist. He would tell me that I was going to die and that he was going to disappear. He said he had mafia connections and when we went to Hawaii, my family felt like they would never see me again. I really believed he planned to do away with me. My marriage was never consumated. He had one excuse after another. He talked to me real bad. I was a widow & I was lonely and he thought I had more money than I had. He went through what I had. He would tell me he worked on a farm driving big machinery. It turned out he was on a prison farm. He made out like he was a big shot businessman and would go up in Hollywood and meet movie stars, conning them. I went to the Long Beach police. I was lucky to get away with my life & also my sanity. You never think these things can happen to you--just other people. I could write a book. My marriage was annuled by Judge Eva Barnes here in Ft. Worth. When you move from one state to another state, it\'s 6 months before you can get a divorce or annulment. I was lonely and very gullible and way too trusting. The Long Beach Police Dept. called me here in Ft. Worth to try to calm my fears that he might follow me back here. Lucky for me, he did not.

"overexposed" 08/22/2010	Well after 10 years of threatening, abuse, verbal....all the above..... as a single mom I spent son\'s 2nd grade struggling- 3- no show child support hearings..then in april assaulted me- again, but i actually drove my self-made a report...all his other assaults \"have disappeared\" so I felt empowered about 2 days.... my straight a student that has never asked but for a normal dad.... \"\"got picked up for weekend visitation on time at 6- which (never happens) so I felt like he might be coming around? well, he picked him up 4-30- and has never brought my 8 yr old home and has not allowed him to be seen -or anything and I can\'t any \"help\" it\'s crazy...... he is not just abuser.he must have connections or something..and I have never been a day-without my son snce birth-any mom reading this- i would love some help- when i ran to tell my parents..my mom had a stroke.so now i have no mom... he took him outta school- and was ab;e to enroll in a chool without my permission.......its so tragic....

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